the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
