I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize