He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
