Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Houston, we have a squirter
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
