sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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