It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
