He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize