Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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