My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
3 2 1 whiskey
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
