I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
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He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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