There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i came on her dog
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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