I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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