i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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