Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
