If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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