Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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