Got a toothbrush?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
nutella sex= disaster
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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