my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
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He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
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Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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