My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
