just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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