I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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