She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
