All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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