I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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