Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
