i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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