either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
