Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's official drugs can't kill me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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