You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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