i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Drunk is a universal language darling
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
