my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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