You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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