Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
