OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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