Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
