1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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