Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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