Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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