I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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