you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
