with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
