Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
