Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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