some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
