Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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