There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
