Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
