Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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