u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
