did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
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