please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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