For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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