i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
