so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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