I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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